That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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