So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
