One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Panties = found
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