So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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