This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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