where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i already hear my dad disowning me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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