Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize