Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
