we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
