Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
pray to the hookup gods
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
