I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
