He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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