hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
