i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize