So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
