Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
