ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
