You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
