i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize