do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize