so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
