as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
