Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
