I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
