You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why didn't you poke me back
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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