the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wish I only lived at night.
the day after is always just damage control
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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