Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
