it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
