I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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