you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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