I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
