i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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