Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
