Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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