what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
