At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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