no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
