I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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