i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
