She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
