Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
