That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
