Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I checked into jail on foursquare
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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