He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
