he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
