She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
