i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
