so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
