So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
