sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
