somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
