i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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