its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
