is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
