margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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