I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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