His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
