do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
