take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
