I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
