And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
