i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
