Just fell off a train. Bad.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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