READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
