Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
