eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
